FalsettoJing
10-25-2007, 08:08 PM
I wanted to get some reviews on the novel I'm writing, title is the thread name. Please review :D ! If you have questions, send me a private message.
Chapter +2
Monday morning light filtered through the window, the glare of the sun’s lighting on my sheets. I didn’t feel like waking up nor did I really want to wake up. It still felt like that Sunday before school. To my dismay, my alarm turned on, beginning to rattle off with its annoying buzzes. Slamming my hand down on the alarm, the rattling buzzes faded away, leaving the room in silence. I slowly opened my eyes gazing at the welcoming sun all around my room. I yawned and groaned as I got out of bed, rubbing my eyes to get the sleep out of them. *Feeling my feet stabilizing to the floor*, I knelt down towards my bed, wrapping my hands around each other in prayer.
“Lord give me the strength to start off this first day of school well and give my friends the strength as well to have a good day back at school.” I whispered.
With a smile, I hopped up from my bed, and I went over to my closet looking for my school uniform. *I knew teenagers weren’t supposed to like school, but I always liked to think that I wasn’t the normal teen.* I pulled out a white, button down shirt and khaki pants from my closet, getting my black shoes next after putting the shirt and pants on my bed. I stripped from my pajamas, throwing them into the nearby clothes basket, but as I was about to put on my uniform, I felt my heart beginning to clench up, and I knelt down so as not to fall over. I felt my lungs starting to flare in pain, and my breathing grew raspy as blood began to come up. I brought my hand to my throat as blood built up, feeling it choking me, yet I slowly made my way towards my nightstand to the tissue box even with the pain.
The doctors never were able to explain it to me why I vomited blood, why my heart clenched up, or why it felt like I was dying each time. They could only answer “You have a rare blood disease.” or some other nonsense that was suppose to not sound as bad. In the end, I knew one thing about it that mattered the most; I don’t have all the time in the world to live. The doctors gave me one estimate where I won’t live to see my twenties, and others have said that I shouldn’t even be alive. They didn’t add though that the spasms were going to get worse, and they didn’t even say how much pain I would’ve to go through. I crawled the rest of the way from the carpet to my nightstand, stumbling as I took the last crawl toward it. Grabbing a tissue, I coughed up the blood into it, wiping my mouth of the remaining blood that dribbled from my lips. I threw the tissue into the nearby garbage can, and I went back to getting dress.
Putting the final button through on my shirt and checking my shoes one more time to make sure they were tied, I left my room and made my way to the kitchen. As I walked from the hall, I could hear rushed steps moving about inside the kitchen, clinking pans also ringing from time to time. I opened the door quietly, finding my mother rushing about. The stove was a lit, cooking eggs, and the dark oak table was set with toast, fruit, and cereal. The utensils were already there with plates and napkins, and milk was ready to be served.
“Oh Adam, I didn’t hear you come in.”
“Sorry mom.”
“Its all right, but I wish you wouldn’t sneak up on me sometimes.”
I took my seat at the table, arranging my plate with toast and fruit. I nibbled on the toast while looking off towards the window in the kitchen, going over everything for school. The teachers won’t be bad except for American History, but History has been an easy subject so far in school. It’d be no different than the others. Besides that, the other classes will be easy except for science. I have no passion for science, and I could care less if science were to ever expand further. God is the only One who should have any say in what we do because in Genesis, it shows what happens when people let curiosity take the better of them. I have said this over and over, but we have never needed science in the first place. My arguments though will never settle with the school.
I turn my face away from the sunlight as I go back to my plate with toast and fruit, picking up a piece of fruit and nibbling away at it. I didn’t hear that my mom had stopped moving while I was eating, but the silence seemed to grow, extending gloom in the kitchen. I looked up to see my mother’s face with worry lines strewn about and dark bags under her eyes as though from a lack of sleep, but what worried me was her eyes looking towards me. I thought I had something on my face, and I moved my hand to rub my lips of food. As I looked towards my hand, I noticed the very small dot of blood by my mouth. My eyes felt like they weighed like anvils then, bulging from my face as I looked at my hand.
“Did you have another attack?” My mother asked.
“It was quick, and it wasn’t as bad.” I lied.
“Adam, I wish you wouldn’t hide that from me.”
“It’s no big deal mom.”
“Yes it is! I don’t know when the big one will come-”
My mother paused instantly, turning her face away from me as the sobs came. I looked to my mom then back towards my hand, and I grabbed the napkin, wiping away the droplet. I brought my face back towards my mom as she was holding onto the counter, crying quietly. Her knuckles were white against the counters, trying to crush the tears away, but they would not leave her yet. I only wished I could console her, but I knew that I couldn’t. The pain she felt was something I would never understand.
She let go of the counter, and she reached over for a tissue, wiping her eyes of her tears. Before me, she recomposed herself as she turned to look at me, age seeming to pull at her face even more.
“You finish your breakfast while I get my keys.” She said to me.
I watched from the table as she walked off towards her room, her shoulders sagging, and I continued to nibble away at my breakfast. I finished off one more piece of toast, and by then, I lost the rest of my appetite to eat anything else. I wanted to get to school and learn. I wanted this single moment of my life to go into the back of my mind. I took my plate to the sink, letting loose a long sigh, and I gathered up my bag for school. My mother appeared with her keys after a minute, looking slightly better.
“Alright Adam, lets go.” She says.
I followed her out to her car twinkling blue in the early morning sun. My mother smiled towards the car as she unlocked the doors for us, getting in first while I put my bag in the back. Seating myself into the soft seat, I stared outwards towards our backyard as my mom pulled out of the driveway. I looked towards my mom finding only a happy smile on her face. She looked towards me, and she only smiled brighter.
“I love you so much Adam.”
“I love you too mom.” I say, the day seeming only to grow longer.
Chapter +2
Monday morning light filtered through the window, the glare of the sun’s lighting on my sheets. I didn’t feel like waking up nor did I really want to wake up. It still felt like that Sunday before school. To my dismay, my alarm turned on, beginning to rattle off with its annoying buzzes. Slamming my hand down on the alarm, the rattling buzzes faded away, leaving the room in silence. I slowly opened my eyes gazing at the welcoming sun all around my room. I yawned and groaned as I got out of bed, rubbing my eyes to get the sleep out of them. *Feeling my feet stabilizing to the floor*, I knelt down towards my bed, wrapping my hands around each other in prayer.
“Lord give me the strength to start off this first day of school well and give my friends the strength as well to have a good day back at school.” I whispered.
With a smile, I hopped up from my bed, and I went over to my closet looking for my school uniform. *I knew teenagers weren’t supposed to like school, but I always liked to think that I wasn’t the normal teen.* I pulled out a white, button down shirt and khaki pants from my closet, getting my black shoes next after putting the shirt and pants on my bed. I stripped from my pajamas, throwing them into the nearby clothes basket, but as I was about to put on my uniform, I felt my heart beginning to clench up, and I knelt down so as not to fall over. I felt my lungs starting to flare in pain, and my breathing grew raspy as blood began to come up. I brought my hand to my throat as blood built up, feeling it choking me, yet I slowly made my way towards my nightstand to the tissue box even with the pain.
The doctors never were able to explain it to me why I vomited blood, why my heart clenched up, or why it felt like I was dying each time. They could only answer “You have a rare blood disease.” or some other nonsense that was suppose to not sound as bad. In the end, I knew one thing about it that mattered the most; I don’t have all the time in the world to live. The doctors gave me one estimate where I won’t live to see my twenties, and others have said that I shouldn’t even be alive. They didn’t add though that the spasms were going to get worse, and they didn’t even say how much pain I would’ve to go through. I crawled the rest of the way from the carpet to my nightstand, stumbling as I took the last crawl toward it. Grabbing a tissue, I coughed up the blood into it, wiping my mouth of the remaining blood that dribbled from my lips. I threw the tissue into the nearby garbage can, and I went back to getting dress.
Putting the final button through on my shirt and checking my shoes one more time to make sure they were tied, I left my room and made my way to the kitchen. As I walked from the hall, I could hear rushed steps moving about inside the kitchen, clinking pans also ringing from time to time. I opened the door quietly, finding my mother rushing about. The stove was a lit, cooking eggs, and the dark oak table was set with toast, fruit, and cereal. The utensils were already there with plates and napkins, and milk was ready to be served.
“Oh Adam, I didn’t hear you come in.”
“Sorry mom.”
“Its all right, but I wish you wouldn’t sneak up on me sometimes.”
I took my seat at the table, arranging my plate with toast and fruit. I nibbled on the toast while looking off towards the window in the kitchen, going over everything for school. The teachers won’t be bad except for American History, but History has been an easy subject so far in school. It’d be no different than the others. Besides that, the other classes will be easy except for science. I have no passion for science, and I could care less if science were to ever expand further. God is the only One who should have any say in what we do because in Genesis, it shows what happens when people let curiosity take the better of them. I have said this over and over, but we have never needed science in the first place. My arguments though will never settle with the school.
I turn my face away from the sunlight as I go back to my plate with toast and fruit, picking up a piece of fruit and nibbling away at it. I didn’t hear that my mom had stopped moving while I was eating, but the silence seemed to grow, extending gloom in the kitchen. I looked up to see my mother’s face with worry lines strewn about and dark bags under her eyes as though from a lack of sleep, but what worried me was her eyes looking towards me. I thought I had something on my face, and I moved my hand to rub my lips of food. As I looked towards my hand, I noticed the very small dot of blood by my mouth. My eyes felt like they weighed like anvils then, bulging from my face as I looked at my hand.
“Did you have another attack?” My mother asked.
“It was quick, and it wasn’t as bad.” I lied.
“Adam, I wish you wouldn’t hide that from me.”
“It’s no big deal mom.”
“Yes it is! I don’t know when the big one will come-”
My mother paused instantly, turning her face away from me as the sobs came. I looked to my mom then back towards my hand, and I grabbed the napkin, wiping away the droplet. I brought my face back towards my mom as she was holding onto the counter, crying quietly. Her knuckles were white against the counters, trying to crush the tears away, but they would not leave her yet. I only wished I could console her, but I knew that I couldn’t. The pain she felt was something I would never understand.
She let go of the counter, and she reached over for a tissue, wiping her eyes of her tears. Before me, she recomposed herself as she turned to look at me, age seeming to pull at her face even more.
“You finish your breakfast while I get my keys.” She said to me.
I watched from the table as she walked off towards her room, her shoulders sagging, and I continued to nibble away at my breakfast. I finished off one more piece of toast, and by then, I lost the rest of my appetite to eat anything else. I wanted to get to school and learn. I wanted this single moment of my life to go into the back of my mind. I took my plate to the sink, letting loose a long sigh, and I gathered up my bag for school. My mother appeared with her keys after a minute, looking slightly better.
“Alright Adam, lets go.” She says.
I followed her out to her car twinkling blue in the early morning sun. My mother smiled towards the car as she unlocked the doors for us, getting in first while I put my bag in the back. Seating myself into the soft seat, I stared outwards towards our backyard as my mom pulled out of the driveway. I looked towards my mom finding only a happy smile on her face. She looked towards me, and she only smiled brighter.
“I love you so much Adam.”
“I love you too mom.” I say, the day seeming only to grow longer.